When I’m working with women in the space of emotional eating & self sabotage, I find that there are 5 common signs that women are in control too much, which is having a direct affect on their emotional eating & their weight.
Why is this important, I hear you ask?
Isn’t this a good thing?
When we are too much in control (which involves a disproportionate need for control), it’s inevitable that we will end up being out of control with our food at some stage. It may not be tonight, or next week but it’s just around the corner.
I wanted to share these 5 signs with you and some tips on how to take on board a more balanced & flexible approach, which I believe is the only want to get on top of your emotional eating & achieve freedom.
5 sign that will result in you being out of control around food.
1. Do you feel anxious if you’re not in control?
Are you worried that if you’re not in control 100% of the time that you will end up being out of control?
This is called all or nothing thinking where you believe that even if you relax just a little bit, you will end up being out of control (and eat everything and anything in sight!!).
Tip: We often forget that there is a continuum – life is so much more rich and fulfilling when you no longer have 2 gears (in control and out of control) that you are operating.
2. Are you too focused on the destination and not the journey?
Are you overly focused on the end game, whether that be a certain dress size or a number on a scale?
Is there a part of you that believes that you will relax once you reach your destination?
Or you might think that when you reach your destination that you will stop dieting or let go of the dieting mentality?
But let’s be really honest, that’s never going to happen.
Tip: Can you start to relax now (without feeling out of control) rather than waiting until you ‘get there’?
3. Are you Obsessed about food 24/7?
How often are you planning out all of your meals in your head?
Have you planned out today’s meals? Maybe even the week?
This is just an alternative strategy to emotional eating, because it’s an avoidance strategy.
It’s keeping you out of your body and away from your feelings.
Tip: Can you start to place your awareness into your body and feel your feelings? It’s our fear of our feelings that seems to be worse than the actual experience.
4. Do you avoid social situations or get annoyed when things don’t go to plan?
Do you say no to last minute invitations that might involve eating out? Or say no to plans that you haven’t accounted for?
This is another avoidance strategy.
How do you feel when things deviate from your plan?
Plans help us to manage our anxiety, however, some of the best experiences that I’ve had involve last minute, spontaneous plans.
Tip: Can introduce structure in your week, without the same level of rigidity?
Can you create space for some uncertainty? Can you show flexibility – even if it’s just once a week?
5. Do you need external boundaries to stay in control (such as weighing yourself)
Do you weigh yourself daily or weekly? Do you count calories?
Do you have other strategies to try to stay in control?
This approach means you give away your personal power – to an app to count your calories, or the scales.
It’s not an empowering way to live!!
Tip: Trusting yourself is key. Becoming an intuitive eater is one of the best way I’ve found to achieve food freedom.